Trick me once, but I won’t let you trick me twice…

20 Nov

”Hey, guess who I saw last night at this club?”

More or less this was the message patiently waiting to be read in my cellphone’s inbox this AM. Now, let me briefly explain the situation.

Yesterday was a birthday of a friend and (shit) I forgot to say happy bday, so I did it today. That’s not the point. As it seems, she and the high school p

ossy went out to celebrate it. and I was not invited. (we are not in high school anymore.far from it. thank God!)


So as the story goes, I found out from the girl that she in fact accidentally ran into them, and they partied. Okay.

So what do we have here? A text-book example of a Liar. Now, I know that there’s no one that has never lied. Seriously? We all do. But, usually it’s not to make a fool out of someone else by thinking that the other person is actually gonna believe that crap. No sorry, that’s exactly what liars do.

So let’s look at it this way. I actually was not extremely surprised by that particular chain of events. I was made a fool by so-called-friends so many times I lost count. Sometimes I ran into the trap without even thinking I might get hurt, and sometimes I knew what was going on but decided to play stupid. Both ways, the worst thing was not that I knew or did not know that the person was lying, it was that I realized they did not think I was worth knowing the truth. Which hurts even more.

If you have something to say, say it. Why don’t you? you think that lies will make your daggers hurt less? Nope. Still hurts. I would rather see your falsehood crumble right in front of my eyes, and have your words hurt like a bullet, than to see how little you think of me by lying to my face. Or behind my back.

And you know what?

Having seen what kind of a person you are, makes me see what kind of a person I never want to be. I would never let people think that I am weak and scared and pathetic and that I hide behind my words, oh no. Cuz that’s exactly what you do. You don’t have the guts to come up and say what you have to say. So you play pretend every time I see you and try to find something to blab about behind my back. Well done. Friend.

Just tell me, how is it working out for you? Huh? How fun is it to meet with me and look me in the eye and ask me how’s life? Like you care. Is it fun really? Oh I bet you would rather bungee-jump than do that. Guess what? Me too. 🙂

The worst thing is that I decided to play your little game of pretending. Every time. Actually it’s more fun for me than you think. Because distancing myself from the situation makes me see what the situation is really like. I notice things that you try to hide. Your glances and bitchy remarks. Oh snap.

We have all made mistakes my dear. The difference between me and you is that I can’t shut up about certain things. So when I see that a certain someone does not like me, I make sure that they know feelings are mutual. I don’t act. I have no reason to. You don’t like me? Fine. Keep doing that. But if you don’t like me and for a second think that I will not notice that and let you make a puppet out of me which will dance as you play? Think again.

With you however, I have made an exemption. How foolish of me to do that. Foolish, indeed.

So consider this a letter to you. And by you, I could immediately name several names. But I won’t do that. That would be so not classy.

I have a better idea. I will not let you know I blog right away. Oh no. Where’s the fun in that? I will let you know I blog soon, and knowing you, you will start reading from the very start. Which means you’ll see this as well.

So congratulations dear! There you have it. You thought I didn’t have the guts to say all of this? Perhaps. But internet is written in ink, and this way it will be here forever to haunt you.

See now how (even written) words can hurt like daggers?

Yours truly,

Conscience you never had.



picture source:


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